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Seele | removed from the group

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Description

sorry everyone I left the group and can't come back, however if you would still like to rp with her outside of the group I wouldn't mind.



Name: Seele (Zee-la)
Nickname: Zee
Age: 19 years
Gender: Mare
Breed(s): Georgian Grande (Saddlebred x (Gypsy Vanner x Sugarbush Draft))

Height: 16.2 HH
Color: Blood Bay Roan Sabino Splash Snow-cap
Markings: Heart shaped blaze, FL irregular sock, FR sock, Back stockings, small snowcap.
Eye Color: Blue

Mate: None
Foals: None
Sire: Mattias (mah-TEE-ahs) - She has never met him.
Dam: Dia - Her mother tries to be close, but just doesn't understand all the hurt and pain that Seele feels.
Siblings: Brigitte (Twin) - They have a very off and on relationship, but Zee feels she hasn't been close to her sister for many years now.

Starting Location:
 East Island 
Faction: Bachelor
Rank: Slave Brood

Sexuality: Bi-sexual
Muse: So by Static-X
Personality:
indecisive, unsure
-
 relents, gives up 
lazy 
pessimistic 

accepts authority, loyal, devoted 
affectionate 
enthusiastic 
Intelligent 

     Seele is best described as a dreamer, she loves thinking of things that would never happen and dreaming of imaginary worlds, her main focus in life is escaping it. Zee loves seeing the beauty of the world and often fawns over anything she thinks is pretty, which for her is most things. She is a very shy girl and tends to fear large crowds and meeting new horses, she also feels she has nothing to say and feels awkward around others. If she is forced into large crowds she will often get panic attacks right away and break down into tears. Sometimes, if she is with someone she trusts she can stand them longer, but she still reaches a breaking point. Despite this once she starts to feel comfortable around someone she blossoms into a friendly, hyper, and joyful little mare. Zee can be a very negative girl and doesn't tend to see the world in a 'glass half full' way. She is very often outspoken and headstrong, though she often doesn't voice her opinions out loud and silently makes enemies with others she doesn't agree with.
Fears: She has an immense fear of flying insects that can sting or bite and any bug that gets close to her ears, this fear is so strong she sometimes hurts herself while attempting to get away.
Goals: She really just wants to be loved and accepted, though her idea of love is only physical.
Favorites: 
Animal: Rat
Color: Reds
Flower: Lily of the Valley
Fruit: Plum
Spice: Ginger
Gemstone: Jade
Metal: Bismuth
Season: Fall
Time of Day: Dawn

History: 
     Seele, and her sister, were the product of her parents one night stand. Her mother didn't even know she was pregnant when she was captured by the bachelor herd. She didn't care for quite some time until she learned of the foals inside her. The thought of bringing life into such a cruel world sent Dia into a very deep depression and she couldn't care for her daughters when they were born. Because of this Seele has never been very close with her mother, or even her twin as the were raised by many of the broods. Seele never really grew close to anyone as a foal and was a very angry, unsure, and emotionally hurt filly. She had so many emotions that no one was helping her through and she began to act out in anyway possible. She started pushing everyone away and frequently running from the herd but she would always come back, she had no where else to go. She remembers some mares that took pity on her and tried to help sooth her, but no matter how much Seele tried it always seemed so hopeless to be what they asked for. Eventually everyone seemed to give up on her.

    Around the time she turned 10 she grew very close to her sister Brigitte and was inseparable from her. With the help of her sister she began to make some friends and even fell in love with one of them. Her name was Natalia, she wasn't the nicest or friendliest, but she was beautiful and strong and everything Seele wanted. But, Zee was a shy little thing and even when she tried her hardest to get close to Nat it felt like she were a million miles out of reach. It took years for Zee to build the confidence to confess her feelings, but it all went wrong and Zee was rejected harshly. This made her recede into herself and become very quiet around everyone, even her sister who she started to cling to ever more. Brigitte was growing tired of her though and started to push Zee away which only made her confiance issues grow. She stops eating and when she is alone she starts to mar her front legs. (you can see very faint scars there to this day)

    Just when she feels that life is hopeless once more she meets colt named Jesse who shows great interest in her. Though he is more of a physical presence then emotional Zee clings to him; He is the only one in a long time that has made her wanted and 'loved'. He promises her everything even to take her away from the bachelors and live a life of happiness, she is naive and likes getting attention from him. Their relationship continues for the next two years until, on his coming of age ceremony, Jesse chooses her sister over her. Confused and hurt Seele ran and tried to force down all her emotions, thats when the stallions found her. but she couldn't have cared, not like she should have, and when all was said and done she convinced herself that she had rather enjoyed it. Seasons passed and as it became clear she was not in foal some tired again and failed again. Soon a nasty rumor spread that she was infertile and slowly the stallions stopped visiting her. Though the lack of 'attention' did get to her she was so emotional drained by now that she just felt empty.

Summery:

  • one night stand
  • mom captured by bachelors
  • goes into deep depression and is absent for most of Seele's life
  • Zee is a very angry and hurt foal, she doesn't understand the life she was born into
  • all of her preteen life she tries to run away and escape
  • because of that she is unwanted by many of the herd and called a problem child
  • a few try to help but she just pushes them away and they give up
  • Gains a connection with her sister and clings tightly to her side
  • is introduced to some of her friends and falls in love with a filly named Natalia
  • She doesn't reciprocate these feelings and made Zee feel very bad about herself Hurt 
  • Zee begins to recede into herself and becomes very shy and anxious
  • Begins to spend a lot of time alone and even starts to self harm
  • at 14 a colt start to take interest in her and they form a bond
  • he promises to be with her 'forever' and Zee starts to get the feeling that physical love is all that matters
  • when he turns 17 he chooses Zee's sister however and their relationship crumbles into nothingness :sad: 
  • doesn't even try to stop the stallions that come for her, finds out she is most likely sterile
  • Is left alone for the most part afterwards, only getting :sex: if she seeks it out herself, which doesn't happen Stare 




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Slyaun's avatar
OOH~ 

She and My Slave Brood Exene Should Meet Once exenes accepted <3